Loveee.

Animals with numbers as names.
Animals with days of the week as names.
24 hours.. 80 hours.. 11 year olds.

I can honestly say I have always thought something was wrong with me.
I can honestly say that the ONLY thing I have wanted was happiness in my life.
When I sit here, and listen to stories about 6 year olds being BORN schizophrenic,
I can't help but hate myself for ever hating my life.
No, I am not happy.
And no, I don't believe in love.
And no, I do not believe I deserve anything good in my life.
But I will always, always have my health.
I can live life normally.
I can actually go to school while my peers are AT school.
I don't have to wait until everyone is gone.
I don't have a 50/50 chance of being able to control myself one day or not.
I don't have to worry about being separated from my father and brother,
and live in my own apartment at night when I need my space with my mother, across the street.
No matter what happens in my life.
No matter who I lose, or what mistakes I make.
My health will always be there.
I will always, always be able to have a normal life.
I can do what I want, when I want.
I can see what I want.
I can hear what I want.
My thoughts are my own.
I will never be selfish about what happens in my life.
Not having the boy I love, the friends I miss.
Thats nothing.
Health, and family..
Will always, be everything.