Can't wait to get this all out.

Friends.
Mean nothing when they arent around.
Friends forever? Really. When did forever become never ?
Friendship is suppose to run deeper than all of this.
Why do people insist on giving up and giving in to everything?
Yeah, I am not the easiest person to get along with at times.
But I want the same things everyone else does.
I want love, happiness, and friendship.
I want a good life.
I want to be able to wake up AND go to sleep with a smile on my face.
Hell, I want to have a smile on my face, and feel like I'm not betraying someone. Including myself.
Friends mean NOTHING when they aren't around.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
When I need you, where are YOU?
Oh, YOU.. are with your guys. You are fucking in love with everyone.
If it has a penis, youre all over it.
Why dont you think about someone other than you for a day?
How about for five minutes, and we'll be even.
Then theres YOU.
Honestly, you are fake, and everythinkg I thought you weren't.
The truth comes out when you are put under shitty situations I guess.
UGHHH YOU.
are a liar and it gets so annoying.
I dont even know what to say to you half the time.
Make up more people, please, I love it.
YOU. i hate you.
I never want to talk to you again.
Please.
I beg you.
Stay out of my life.
You bring out the worst in me.
You don't do anything for me, other than cause me pain, every, single, day.
I cried today because I hate seeing you smile.
I hate knowing I mean NOTHING to you.
But you mean everything to me.
But whats funny is..
You'll never amount to who I love.
He has so much more of me.
He took my heart and ran with it.
You. Ha, you didnt even want my heart.
So it's funny how this bothers me.
And funny how you think youre better than me.
Everything we had was a lie on both parts.
You are a piece of shit.
And you'll never know what you have done to me.
I never want you to know.
What I do want.
Is for you to get your hold off me.
I cant live my life knowing that I might hurt you if I change my mind.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.
I hate myself for letting you pass by...
I hate myself more than ever.
Lies.
I hate myself, for than anyone, ever.
Everything for the past 3 years is finally becoming clear.
I'm the piece of shit.
I'm the liar.
I'm the self centered bitch.
I'm everything all of you are.
And I hate it.
I hate you.
But I hate me the most.