Release.

My blogs are long,
Because I wait until I have so much to say,
and I can just type it all out at once.
Well. I have too much to say this time.
And I don't care who reads this, and who doesnt,
Cause quite frankly, this isn't about you.
It's about me. It's for me.
Because I can't tell my "real" friends SHIT anymore.
I honestly believe I HATE everyone.
I can't stand anyone anymore.
No, I can't stand YOU either.
Chances are, I hate whoever IS reading this.
Everyone about everyone, is driving me crazy.
I reached the point where I don't give a fuck,
But I still care too much.
Does that even make sense?
Probably not.
I want new friends.
I want a new everything.
Ya know, a new life would be nice.
I know my former post said something along the lines of if I had my health, I had it all.
Yes. Technically, that is all very true.
Because without my health, I wouldn't be able to think this way.
My thoughts wouldn't be my own.
But when you think about it..
When you REALLY think about it..
That wouldn't be so bad.
You wouldn't have to think for yourself.
Someone/something else would do it for you.
You don't have to worry about what you do wrong,
because they always have another excuse for it.
You always have a way out when you're sick.
You don't when youre healthy.
I wish, I could punch the face in of everyone I talk to.
No one understands me anymore.
Yeah, totally a cliche thing to say.
But ya never understand what people mean by that, till it happens to you.
I legit KNOW that NO ONE understands me anymore.
Nothing I do or say is ever good enough.
Nothing is mine.
I have nothing to myself.
I hate when someone has to be better than me.
Yes, I suck at life.
Throw that in my face a little more, please.
Please. I would love you to do that more.
I beg you. As IF I don't get enough of that at home.
You have to do it now too?
Like, really?
You're not better than me.
STOP FUCKING ACTING LIKE IT.
EVERYTHING, is a competition with you.
Everything. Reading, singing, running, talking, school, friends.
Like, just stop.
Stop it. Before I flip out.
Before you lose me.
Because you need to realize that I lose everyone.
Losing YOU, wont phase me.
YOU are fake.
YOU are a bitch.
YOU are huge.
and YOU SUCK AT LIFE.
No, I dont care if you know how he is.
Because you don't know him like I do.
SO GET OVER YOURELF CHAMP.
You suck. and you know it.
You're a crazy bitch, and yes EVERYONE TALKS SHIT ON YOU,
just like YOU TALK SHIT ON EVERYONE.
You think we don't know? WE ALL FUCKING KNOW.
You're a bitch from hell, and I ask myself everyday why I haven't told you off for good.
Because honestly.
You. Your opinion. Your friendship. MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
Nope. NOTHING. Why are you still my friend?
I don't know.
Because I'm selfish.
I'm messed up too.
NO ONE said I was sane.
No one said I was nice.
I dont know why people think I'm not a monster.
BEATS ME.
Cause then there is you..
Oh you.
Oh youuu!
You're a bitch.
I hate you more than the other one.
I hate you. So much. That I wish I could never talk to you ever again.
You, betrayed me.
You, forgot about me.
You, replaced me.
Well you know what?
I dont care.
You were the best friend I've even had.
Then you weren't.
I've had enough experience in my life,
To know that everyone leaves... No matter WHAT they promise you.
I'm only there when its convenient for You.
I don't really roll that way, thanks.
I wont be the person thats always there no matter how shitty of a friend you are.
You went from being the best friend I've ever had, to the worst in about 3 months.
HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?!
I hope it makes you feel good.
Because you got what you wanted.
You replaced me..
So now, when you stay home, YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE.
No more me.
How does that make you feel?!
I HOPE AMAZING.
Cause you always get what you want.
Bitch.
Rumor has it.. I havent grown up.
LISTEN YOU DUMB BITCH.
If you even went through a quarter of what I have been through in my life..
You would know that I'm more mature than you ever were.
LIKE HUNNY. really? Who is your best friend?
THE BIGGEST BITCH, and the most immature bitch in our school.
But I havent grown up?
Seriously.
Why? Because I don't give a shit what comes out of my mouth?
Because I "vent" over facebook?
HUNNY SO DO YOU.
You are a fucking hypocrit.
And I hate YOU the most out of all my "friends".
Since when, doesnt your shit stink?
Huh? Since when, are you fucking better than me?!
You're not.
You, are stuck on your boyfriend...
Good.
I'm so glad that when you look back on your highschool career, you get to say,
"I hung out with my boyfriend"
YOU AND I WERE FUCKING FINE, until schoool started.
Then all of a sudden you were better than me?
Cool.
You'll never be better than me.
You'll always be a bitch.
No. You'll always be a crazy bitch.
And no one cares about you.
No one even KNOWS you.
Like really.
You hang out with no one.
You talk to no one.
YOU have no life.
BHAHAHAH good. Cause you SUCK at the life you DO have.
How could you ever call yourself a father?
You, should have just killed yourself a long time ago.
Or, you should have done something that put your dumbass in jail for the rest of your life.
You. Have no soul. No heart.
You. Are evil.
If I never see you again, I wouldn't care.
I will no show up at your funeral. And I will not forgive when youre dead.
You dont deserve it.
You walked out on my mother when you found out I was being born.
You deserve to take your alcoholic self to a tree and wrap yourself around it.
I hate you.
I hate you so fucking much.
Do you have any idea how hard you made these past few weeks?
How much trouble it was to use 2 cars for 4 people in this family that drives?
How fucking dare you.
You. Are a piece of shit.
The one person in your life that loved you with every flaw,
you fucked over. SO GOOD FOR YOU.
I hope you die alone.
Please, die alone.
Die with your six pack next to you.
Die with my brothers car on top of you.
I hate you.
I dont care what happens to you.
Thanks for the pool, asshole.

I need help.
I want out so bad.
Not of life.
Justtt, this one.. I guess.
I want to lead a different life.
Maybe thats what I'm trying to get at.
I hate everyone, because everyone hates me.
No one understands where I'm coming from, and I cant handle it.
I'm so alone right now.
And I just want to run away.

If you read this..
I'm sorry.
But I feel ten times better...