you know better than anyone

Its funny when the only way you know how to be, is the one way you never wanted to be. you look at yourself in the mirror and wish you were different. but you know better than anyone you wont change. you'll be this way forever. no one will change it. you dont want anyone to help you change. but then again, you dont want to change. you go from day to day with a smile on your face. some days its a real smile, but you cant help but fake it too. days are too long, and nights are too short. you cant dream cause its haunted by memories you dont want to think about. you cant stay awake because you hate reality more than you hate your nightmares. you stare at the ceiling hoping for an answer. but you know better than anyone that your questions will never be answered. you hope for a hand to reach out and catch you while your falling, but you know better than anyone, that you will always fall, and the only one who will ever be able to save you is yourself. you'll never be perfect, and you never want to be. you like yourself when other people like you, and hate yourself when other people hate you. you never know if you like who you are, or if you hate who you are. so you live your life wondering what it would be like to be different. but you know better than anyone, that you will never be different and not everyone will ever like you. no ones perfect. no one isnt beautiful. no one knows every answer. and no one knows whats gonna happen next. you have to live your days knowing that you dont know whats going to happen, and not knowing what you want to happen. you cant be happy without a heart. but you and i both know that i dont have a heart. i feel nothing. i dont care about anything. and i know better than anyone that i wont change. i know better than anyone that i'll always be broken.